Lost love.

I remember the was a time I wanted to see you so bad I used to talk to God about this situation on a daily basis, he granted me my wish and now I wish I had never seen you. You’re like that scar on my heart that doesn’t want to heal. Memories of you cloud my mind and blur my vision You’re my first thought when I wake up and the last when I fall asleep I swear I was over you, I wanted to see just to tell you bye and that I will continue praying for you but then you make a reappearance just to disappear again and I couldn’t even tell you what I wanted to because my heart was still holding on to you even though I let go. I love you so much to a point that I hate you. I realised that I have so much I want to tell you but it only amounts to three simple words but emotions are nobodies game anymore, so I’ll just keep mine bottled up and store them for a rainy day when we are together in the same bed, talking about how stupid and childish we were. I was okay you know I was so fucking happy; I swear the was nothing that could bring me down. Now I felt your touch and I want more and I want your voice in my ears, and I want you to be the reason I smile. You can’t take away a happiness I worked months for and then disappear with it. I swear I had the sun smiling at me even when it wasn’t visible to anybody else but it still smiled at me even if it was hidden in the clouds but then you come and take that away from me. I don’t even know why I’m writing this because it’ll never get to you I just want you to know, every time you told me you love me, I said it back maybe not out loud, but I said it through my actions and my thoughts and my mind and my soul. I said it to God though I always hoped he’d say it for me. Maybe it’ll come to you in a dream or something, the same way I had dreamt of seeing you again. I was so sure that I wanted to close the chapter in a book we had yet to write but only to want to open another, all this is my fault though I shouldn’t have been so happy or eager to see you, but I didn’t know it would hurt so much to have you so close to me. To think I’ve written you a letter before and you never read it. You better be thinking about me too and not being able to concentrate on an assignment that is due in just a few hours. I hope this seals you away from here onwards. I wish you well though and may God be with you, may he guide, love and protect you. I love you so much. Bye.